It’s funny how life sucks you in. How things that aren’t terrible at all can become nightmares. How things can stay the same but change from good to bad. My life to this point has always been lived in retrospects. In “what if”s. I feel like I need to make up for lost time. I’ll be turning 29 shortly and in no way does it feel I have 29 years worth of memories. This has left me in a state of mind where I’m screaming at myself to live more. I have to stop focusing and settling on what I have and where I am and start looking towards where I could be.
I read something recently that brought what I’ve been doing wrong to the forefront of my brain. It brought to light how easy it’s been for me to get comfortable – to think that what I already have is all I need.
The phrase I read was “Use your money to buy memories, not things.”
Three weeks ago, the Canadian government approved my application and mailed me my first passport ever. Yes – ever. That’s how long it’s been since I’ve travelled. I haven’t even been to the United States since all you needed was a birth certificate to cross the border. I’ve been nowhere. I’ve seen nothing.
On August 24, that all begins to change when I board a plane and head into Panama City Beach, Florida. It’s an escape that I desperately need. It’s my birthday gift to myself. From there, I’ll return home only to fly out again on November 6 to San Fransisco, California.
I am pulling the proverbial rug from under my own stationary feet. No one can change my life but me. My senses are thirsty for so much more than where I am and what I already have. It’s time to give them what they want. It’s time to see all the things I’ve wanted to see. Time to do all the things I’ve wanted to do. This passport is my golden ticket. I can start filling my brain with sights, sounds, and languages instead of just movie quotes and sports trivia. I can finally become the version of myself that’s been trying to break free for years. And if Ryan 2.0 never returns, send him your love and wish him well because he is alive.