OK Culprit

You can’t just simply meet anyone anymore. We live in an awkward time. Social media reigns supreme when, in actuality, humans are becoming more and more recluse and socially inept. It’s ironic, really.

What really brought this fact to the forefront for me was when I moved back to my hometown. I was on my own – which is good in moderation but I’d eventually hit a wall of solitude and find myself in need of companionship. So, you see – I signed up for a dating site.

Let me just preface this by stating that I went in to this pseudo adventure knowing that I wouldn’t take much of it seriously. Hence, I created a profile on a website that is free of charge. You have to be of an entirely different breed to voluntarily pay for services such as these. Although, at the same time, I don’t know if using a free service would make me seem more or less desperate. Shockingly, I digress.

There are people of all sorts on these sites. From my own personal experience, the majority of them have something in common: absolutely horrendous social skills.

Hear me out. In the 3-months or so that I’ve been in Mississauga and on this website, I have sent and received countless messages to and from women but have met none of them in person. Sure, things come up and sometimes you just have to cancel, but usually when I suggest the idea, I’m hit with excuses. Mostly this one: We hardly know each other.

Well, no shit.

Here’s my problem with such a message: this is a dating site. It’s designed to help you meet people. People seem to be more interested in being pen pals for some reason. Sending message after message, holding off on meeting a person until they know every single detail about that person. There’s a big problem with this; what’s left to talk about once you decide the person is worth meeting? You’ll both be at a loss for words because all of that classic first date banter has been said and done.

So therefore everything is already over before it even really began.

I can understand someone being too timid and shy to approach someone in person. I used to be the most terrified man ever when it came to approaching women. But that’s what these sites are for. If you can’t muster up that courage to meet after a few back and forth messages then it’s unlikely you’ll be able to meet anyone ever and you should probably just buy a cat. Or a bird that talks back.

On that note, I actually do try my best to break away from the online dating fad by trying to approach women in person; in the real world. But here’s the thing – online dating has ruined people’s ability to not only approach in person, but to accept one’s approach.

Ultimately, online dating has become the norm. When one does muster up that courage to approach a woman in a crowded bar – to buy her a drink and ask how her evening is – that person is met with a deer-in-headlights look of confusion that seems to say “who is this creature who dares speak to me? He doesn’t know me. Is he stalking me? OMG, what a creeper!” and so forth.

What I’m saying is that approaching a woman in a bar, or really any public setting for that manner, isn’t what it used to be. It could be a generational thing but who knows. Talking to someone with the hopes of laying down some charm usually results in the woman suddenly aborting whatever activity she was taking part in and start looking for an escape plan.

What I’m saying is that introducing yourself and offering to buy a drink/coffee/ etc. and overall exuding confidence is apparently less effective than sending an anonymous message via online dating sites saying something along the lines of “hey baybee dem titties be dope.”

Yes, social media may rule the world right now but humanity’s social skills are going through a de-evolutionary phase. It simply seems that everyone has a multiple personality disorder: online and offline.

Then again, maybe I’m just really ugly and think about things too much.

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